Life or death?

One is happening and the other is going to happen, right? One is offered to us in an inhale, and the other can be taken away in our exhale. I know what it is like to stray from the path and head down the wrong roads, so I also know I will not do it again. I have felt the fear of being lost, and not knowing where to turn next...will it be the right way or a dead-end? That does mean I have to give up? Does that mean that death comes for us all, so we might as well roll over and pretend we already are? Where is the fight in that? What about your will to survive and not only survive; but dominate. Whose life are you living this for anyway? For them, so they can be happy for yours instead of finding it in their own? My man, I have not only seen what the road looks like, but I walked it so I would understand what it felt like underfoot. You cannot make that long journey to the otherside only to turn back and return from whence you came...it doesn't work like that. The key is moving forward, pushing ahead, to be better, smarter, stronger, and made of steel; not of paper mache.

I just found out that I may have lost a friend today, and I say may because I do not know for sure right now. But, it is not looking that good...he was walking on his path when he slipped and fell. Then he got frustrated with it all and started to backtrack. Why did you do it brother? You had life by the balls and life was upcoming for you...your own flesh and blood my man; your own flesh and blood. I was even warned about it but became so caught up in myself that I forgot what being a friend means. Now I am left behind to try and figure it all out. To see someone come that far to fall that behind is not a travesty...it is a mockery. That is not the way to be shown the exit to life, and that is not the proper entrance for the life up and coming.

I woke up over four years ago, in a hospital bed, with wires sticking out of me, and I had a broken back and a fractured skull. Like my friend, I was given a second chance to live, to grow, and to mend my broken wings. I have been wondering in the years since if I was using that knowledge to my advantage...and I now know that I am. Time is not the monster I have always seen it as; when you want it to speed up, it crawls, and when you want it to slow down, it hurtles by with the eagerness of an unmanned locomotive. But, I have come to see that it allows for learning, for seeing, and for loving. Do you have someone you want to tell that you love them but they do not want to hear it? Tell them anyway because you might not know when they aren't around to hear it from your lips.

Rest in peace, my brother. May you now finally have some.

"There are only three sins - causing fear, causing pain, and causing anguish. The rest is only window dressing."
- Roger Caras