Spiritual adj. Of, concerned with, or affecting the soul
In this life there are many levels of comfort. We have levels of friendship in regards to close knit crews as opposed to acquaintances. We have varying degrees of tolerance before we react, we have limits of privacy versus intimacy...and the list could continue on for centuries.
The most essential, for me anyway, is that of physical comfort and spiritual comfort, and how they relate in so many ways. Physical is sometimes mental, for example, how lack of money in my life upsets me to the point of laying awake at night...fretting over details outside of my control. That negative effect on comfort levels sometimes leave me gasping for room to breathe.
But, spiritual comfort is my balance. The introspection of self, faith in gift, belief in vision, and the search for my soul...and, once again, the list could continue on for centuries. Hold on for some deepness of thought. Here you go, and may you enjoy.
Money has always been the bane of my existence. I am the youngest of four boys raised by a single Mother in a low-income, subsidized community of row houses; in essence a ghetto. I walked amongst that old haunt during my recent visit to St. John's and saw how it is now dilapidated, worn, and devoid of warmth. I knew not the faces anymore, except a random few still living in the dredges, and the weight of despair thickened the humid summer air.
The status of poverty can become a burden for people, a routine that they are unable to break, and in effect, an open fissure of chaos designed for failure. I am lucky, indeed, truly blessed, to come from a woman strong enough to rise above the ascription of her birth. My Mother instilled in me a sense of soul, to look past the personal limitations of a young boy, and taught me the value of belief in strength. With that lesson learned at an early age, I am now able to walk with my head held high as an adult, and therefore see that chasm on the road ahead.
And with one deft movement of step, I easily walk around it. Money is not the end all be all for me...personal comfort is.
Personal comfort means being comfortable in my own skin, patiently comfortable in keeping my goal in sight; comfortable in fulfilling self-prophecy. I will make something of myself, you will know that when it happens, and please, for the love of all that is sacred and good, please hold me to those words. I walk hand-in-hand with fate and each step brings me closer and closer to the true beginning moments of my life. My passion is the flint, my obsession the spark, and my destiny the fire that keeps me warm.
I am writing a book...a fictional memoir where the only fictional aspect is that all the character's names have been changed. I set a personal goal of finishing it this summer and in the last eight months wrote over thirty chapters; twenty in the last three months alone. As summer draws to a slow close, my goal becomes tangible and now only three more remain.
Accomplishing that objective involves so many variables of nights in solitude, pressing friends to read chapters for feedback, promoting the fact that I am writing a book in the first place, and ignoring the fact I am an impoverished student. Ignoring ideas of finance and principal; capital and debt needed to start an aspiring publishing career. These thoughts play with my physical comfort and I toss and turn; then toss and turn some more. Sometimes it is almost impossible to close my eyes and attempt to shut down my mind during those empty hours of darkness.
But, there are the nights when I lay awake and listen to the quiet tapping of rain falling softly against my window. It is in those moments that I am held in the arms of spirit and it is the only comfort I will ever need. I know everything will be okay, and in time, everything will work out. I only need see what is written in the stars for one is written for us all.
So, when you feel tightness in your chest because you want more than your bank account can supply, or if what you want costs more than what you have, realize it is only one scale working to balance the other. It is only a reaction, nothing more, nothing less, only a reaction of your spirit calming your physical with a light hush and whisper. Listen to what it is saying, take comfort in words of solace, and know that you are being lead in the right direction.
The rest will only follow. Head up, shoulders straight...now march. Until we meet again, people, until we meet again.
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." - Psalms (ch. xxiii, v. 4)
