It was not so many years ago that I stood in a cool Colorado summer breeze, and brushed tears from my eyes. I had just made a pact with God. We agreed that if he brought her home safe, sound, and intact for me, then I promised to find peace in my life. She pulled into the driveway not even a mere thirty minutes later.
She is no longer in my life; no longer are we in contact; our time together, even at that moment, had passed, but yet I have strived to keep up my end of the bargain ever since that night. I have been tested time and time again, but yet every test is no more than a trial and tribulation. Each test is no more than a reason to give thanks for what life offers and attain to that higher plateau of peaceful harmony.
Peace is what has driven me in this life ever since that fateful night, so far away from friends and family, so lonely and desperate for salvation, and in the darkest depths of depression a man can ever experience. In that moment I spoke with God, there was no safe haven for me anymore...except in the safety of his arms. This is not about religion or piety, my friends, it is more so about how I have found peace in the semblance of my life. Here you go, and may you enjoy.
I have found peace with who I am. I am confident in my self even when I am surrounded by strangers in a sea of umbrella's on a rainy day in New York City. I have found peace in that.
I have found peace in understanding and recognizing the value of fear. I have respect for it yet know it is needed to relinquish control and cascade off a thirty foot cliff with nothing more than a snowboard strapped to my feet...and soft snow beneath to feather my fall. I have found peace in that.
I have found peace with my friends and family. I love them because they show love for me. They accept me for who I am, who I am becoming, and the man they see growing right before their very eyes. They are my heart and soul. They are my very being. I have found peace in that.
I have found peace with my personal choices and decisions. I am creating a life full of wonder through learning and knowledge; it is one rich with wisdom and belief in character. I allow my self to make mistakes and therefore allow the freedom to make my own decisions and grow from those mistakes. Not to grow up per se, but more so to grow down into my soul; to become one with humanity yet stay distinct in my identity. I have found peace in that.
I have found peace with money. I am a poor student with an eye to the future. I know I will make my own personal fortune one day and that I will design it with my own creativity. It will come when it is ready; when I have put in my complete time and effort; when it is decided I am ready for it. Then and only then. I have found peace in that.
I have found peace in life. I am grateful for all it offers; all it grants. I have found peace in following one day after the next and collecting them each into a memory of my time on this earth. I have found peace in the fact that love is alive. I have found peace that I can smile through all the travesties that have been heaped upon me in my short number of years. I have found peace that I will be able to continue smiling no matter what ever else may come my way.
I have found peace in the fact that I am protected.
So, you may ask, how do I know for sure that I have found peace in life? Well, peace is not something we find and then take complacency in it; no, peace is something we strive for every day of our lives until this life is past and our mortal remains are scattered in the rising winds. I know for sure I have found peace by this simple fact: whistling. I whistle when it rains; I whistle when I am sad; I whistle when I am happy; I whistle when I do not even feel like whistling because the act of it alone makes me smile.
So, just go ahead: whistle your worries away and try to refrain from smiling. Listen as others around you join in and whistle their own personal ditties. Realize that it will all be okay one day; that it will all work out in the end. May we all find it one day. Peace be with you. Until we meet again, my friends, until we meet again.
"Imagine all the people living in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one." - John Lennon
