Monday, February 28, 2005

When the Past and Present Collide

It seems like we are given a chance at times - either money or your sanity. I am not a huge fan of dinero, and believe it to be an evil we are not allowed to do without. For me, I despise the fact that it is usually what interfers with my freedom, and hinders some event I may have planned. Lately, it has been a bane of mine, and making it difficult to breathe, and brings upon a not so easy feeling for me.

I know where I will be in a short span of time, that I am on the cupse of pseudo-financial stability; or at the very least, some form of something along that same line. In a way, it is my cash flow, or lack of, that is forcing me to view where I am (Halifax), what I am (broke student), and what I wish for my life (that everything keeps going the way it is going). Here you go, and may you enjoy.

I am writing out words that place me back in my past; I feel it again, I live it again, and I know what it is like to taste that pain again. I am in the same filthy lucre spot back then as I am now, strapped for legal tender but knowing I am going to be okay. Right now, it is like I am following familiar footprints on a familiar beach, when I look down and see they are my imprints. I find myself travelling backwards in time to secure where I am travelling forwards; walking through my-soon-to-be future by following my gift through all the madness.

Sometimes though, I come screaming out of my past into my present, and feel the wind knocked out of my lungs. It can leave me grasping at air for some sort of balance as I grab at thin air for something...anything resembling support. Then I right myself and realize I am that support, that I am my own goddamned saviour. It is usually that my friends are the balance.

Assignments and days of limbo are what my future prescribes. Busy times and many many...many words to type. Mundane days are broken by laughter shared with friends, an infancy of beginning plans in the works, and finishing the first writing of legacy. Seemingly a summer brimming with potential and good times to be experienced.

By walking through old forests of memories past, I am able to see who I am becoming from the person who tasted his own mortality...yet would not even let that stop him. I know more and more that I am one day closer to what I have always seen happening - from my first scribbles so many years ago to the story that is unfolding. I soon know my worries about petty cash and all the worries in tow will not be so worriesome anymore.

It all comes down to alignment, people, it all comes down to alignment. Open yourself to the universe, find that which makes your soul sigh with passionate tones, and dance with the winds. See past the intangible impossibility and grasp the reality of what can be will be. How much do you want it? Can you taste it on the tip of of your tongue like the flowers taste the morning dew? I can, people, I can taste the best years of my life coming forth from the darkness of yesteryear, and I can see its light shining bright for all to see. Until we meet again, people, until we meet again.

"When worlds collide things change on the inside and time just slips away. When worlds collide the universe is shaken in so many different ways and you feel like you can fly. You think you know the reasons why everything is as it is and you have never been more alive. You have been walking on for too long a time and you have finally arrived." - The Jimmy Swift Band