Collision repair...

After de-railment happens, you find yourself out of sorts, and crashing through the underbrush; out of control and blind to your upcoming future destination. Sometimes, though, it is not always as bad as you had thought it would turn out to be. Sometimes, at times like these, it can be cushioned with a big, huge pillow, and the landing is not so extreme. This is to be my first summer in Halifax, and I am looking forward to it. The last few days have been nice and sunny, my place of employment has a beautiful harbour front view; and I should be able to accomplish some goals this season. It is funny that I am now referring to summer as "season", but it looks like the leaves are growing on the trees and it is so cool to see them take life. A changing of the seasons hey? Huh...funny that.

Do you believe in karma? That what happens, happens for a reason, and our actions based on those occurences, somehow play out in our later days? I do, and I feel that I may have played out the karma dealt to me, and that is time for something else. I feel an upswing in my future, and it is so close, that I can smell it...because it is standing right next to me. I am now in the minute, can feel another change in me, and knowing that it will only lead to good things. I will always sit back and wonder at the awe that we call life. For all the times it can slap you around, it can also hold you in the palm of its hand, and place you where you most need to be. I laugh when I think that my plans this summer consist of working, playing guitar (soon to buy one and will update y'all), and saving money for school. Okay, throw in some ink in there, with a trip to Newfoundland for Festival, and the rest to be saved. I laugh as I think of how long it has been since I saw the summer leaves in St. John's, and how it has been long overdue for me to see them again. I laugh because this is the most structure I have had in the last five years, and I am loving every minute of it. Why you may ask? Well, since you ask...I laugh because I know, one day not more than fours years from now, that I will be shattering that same structure. Then rebuilding it somewhere else, on foreign soil, but in a place I have always needed to be. I am held in the palm, as we all are when we least expect it. It is shown that we have learned a lesson, and it it time to come to the next in line. I am here, am only moving forward, but hey...no more bricks okay?

Hold on McGinty. Hold on.

"I had a dream I was moving forward, floating gently to the sun
Come to see my world rewarded...a new day has begun.
Now I can see the earth below me and I can feel it turn.
Fog lifts to reveal potential for generations prophesized,
Our growth to be exponential...the promise is finally realized."
Now I can see the earth below me and I can feel it turn.
Feel it turn across the sky,
For the world it learns, so must I." - Great Big Sea

Slow burn...

Scar: (skar)n. A mark left on the skin after a surface injury or a wound has healed

I think I held my dream so tight that I didn't allow room for it to breathe. Now that I have placed its burden down, and stepped aside, I can see that it is unsure...that it does not know what to do now. Funny that I speak of it this way, but it has been such a huge force in my life, for so long, and for so many years. Maybe it is me that is unsure, and does not know where to turn next.

Why is it that I always seem to be in this exact same place over the last five years? It is weird that this happens to me, and if it is some sort of cycle, then please let me out - I have been through the rinse enough to know that the spin comes next. I just do not want to do it anymore, you know? The excitement turns to uncertainty, and then the uncertainty to doubt, until I end up back where I started...by myself, and sporting some new, albeit funky, scars. But, dammit, I have enough scars, and now I need time to heal all those marks left behind; to heal the person left behind. Oh yeah, that's right...that would be me.

You know what though? It is not that bad...this new place that I am in. I see what is in front of me, where I am headed, and I know it is so bright that it is the only I can see for miles and miles. I can almost imagine I feel the cold brass of the ring as my fingers take their hold. It is that close, that near, and I can almost taste it. Oh yeah baby, oh yeah. A change for the better is rising on the wind. Can you hear it?

Hold on McGinty. Hold on.

"From age to age, nothing changes, and yet everything is completely different."
- Aldous Huxley