Saturday, February 19, 2005

Covering Any Incidentals

Character n. A description of a person's attributes, traits, or abilities.

Test n. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability

I walked out into a light winter mist of rain just a few days ago, and it brought me back to another night and another time in Whistler. My mind raced through memories and days from so long ago, and I thought of how the mist looked like patience floating away from me. I could see how it was just out of my reach, but is seemingly always close by when I am in need of its virtues.

For the first time in oh so long, I have solid ground underneath my feet, and I peruse my landscape that changes ever so slightly...yet always stays the same. I have been taking the minutes lately to look forward to my future roads, and understanding how walking along my current one aids me in realizing the aspect of patience in the first place. To me, it is all about the continuing on of our roads, no matter how they dip or how they will fall. Patience does nothing more than offer clarity as we brush off dust and continue on. Now what I have learned from patience is another entirely different story. Here you go, and may you enjoy.

Patience is a virtue that has maladjusted, maladapted, and malaligned itself in so many scenarios that make up my crazy life. How many times have I moved forward with small little glances over my shoulders? How many times have I remembered where I was so many years ago, and how those years taught me to see the validity of patience? I wonder how many times indeed, as I write my story, and see where my whole life uprooted itself from my core. I feel my soul reacting to what needs to be done, and also feel its incessant pushing from inside me telling me to write and write...and then write some more while editing on the run and then write some more.

Why the obsession you may ask? It is so I can truly start my life and begin the workings of my next chapter in my chronological timeline. Right now, in my present, I am overwhelmed with my memories and I see that I must be patient...and take the time to write some more.

I find myself awake in the late nights, thinking about those days when, and I see these words become a black imprint on solid sheets of white paper. I see the days happen as I renew my footsteps, and I see the steps from so long ago that now seem even farther behind. I see my days grow even better as I write them, and I feel them even more as I live them. I scribble a sentence here and there, spice some language with the truth while scrambling to learn anew, and it all allows for my character to be made. I see that I am placing my own personal touch on the person I am becoming, and that I am the genuine article versus the paper mache side of it all.

I sit here and write, and know some will be seeing what they think is my soul laid out to bare. Truthfully, my real soul is being typed out letter by letter, word by word, memory by memory, and it is really laid out for me every day I wake up and look in the mirror. I know who it is I see in the reflection, and I feel a little more pride with every one of those passing days. As I have said so many times before, it is forward progression that is the only link to survival. Survive I did, survive I am...and survive to dominate is where I am headed.

Falling leaves that mark the days of cold, or winter rains that bring cold white snow. Running through the spring air as the trees grow again, and summer days that we never want to end. For each and everyone of them are a season in and a season out; patience that it will all follow its due course and trust that the path is just. Smile a little more, breathe a little deep from within, and always make sure to keep your eyes peeled on the horizon. Until we meet again, people, until we meet again.
      "Through the water, through the rain...through the soul of everything. Throw my memories to the wind and I am almost gone." - David Gray