Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Have you ever sat back and wondered about the things that cause strife in your life? What would you do if you were able to center in on them and come up with a solution for them? I mean, who wants strife in our life, right? Here is my "strife" and some would kind of laugh at me for it - I have this crazy tendency to have these beautiful women come into my life, fall in love with me, and then something happens to take them away from me. Then I sit back and wonder why they came, what they came for, and why they had to leave me...I talked about this with a close friend last night and she started laughing at me, and called me a lucky bastid. "Todd", she said, "Do you know that most people would give anything to feel love for just one of those times?" Huh, I thought, after we hung up...Huh.

So, here I am again - I didn't want to be here in this same place again, but I had no control over it. After the way things went last time, I had decided to sit back and delve into the underground that is me again. Then, one day, this woman looked at me in a way she never has before, and I was smitten. There, I said it, and now it is out in my open; and therefore, I place it out in her open. I have felt almost kind of shame for starting to fall in love with her, but to say that is to slight her, when she deserves nothing but respect. When something this special comes around, do not grasp tight but let it have room to breathe, as you would ask the same of yourself. Mine has touched me in a place I never knew existed until she came around - how many of us can actually say that? We can read our thoughts before they barely even enter our minds, tell the other, and laugh at how simple it really can be. Time plays a game on us, but that is okay because one day time will be ours. Ours to share, ours to celebrate, and ours to do with it as we may. But, to have that time I am told that I will have to step back and do something I have never done before. I have to go and find a middle ground for the first time in my life - I am a person who has only known one extreme or the next and now I am in the process of learning something new. A middle ground means accepting balance in my life and I cannot find any fault in having balance; could you?

So, if you have a special someone you want to tell how you feel, how they make you feel, or even if they just make you smile...Tell them because you may never know when the chance will come again as life is beautiful; but ever-so-fleeting. Just remember to breathe along the way...

"If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole world would change." - Buddha

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