You know what I really want? Someone who would just rent - or maybe even steal...okay not steal because that might mean jail time with a large man named Bubba - a car with me and just drive. Go down the eastern seaboard coast and make our way across lousy America until we made it to California. There we could stop by my friend's tattoo shop and get some ink drawn in, and just hang out on the beaches drinking tequila until the sun dropped down into the pacific ocean...then - of course my road partner would be female - we would fall asleep on the beach, under the stars, and with only a wool blanket to keep us warm.So, one day I could tell my kids what wild and crazy things their father has done and what he used to think of, and then I sit back and ask this question: so does that mean that age brings wisdom or does wisdom come with age? What about experience and the taking of a chance now and then? Does that not add the element of risk into the formula of life? Man, without those thoughts coming into prevalence, I find that existing is not enough, and that we have to do our own episodic release from the everyday to push the envelope - life is too mundane enough as it is, you know?

But, here is something I can understand...I worked until late the other night, and walked home just for the sake of breathing fresh salt-ocean air - minus the fact that I hate paying a cabbie just to SIT in his car. The night air had been brisk but not cold, and my thoughts were as numb as an inuit in his igloo...ahahaha that was a funny analogy; damn I crack myself up. Anyway, I digress, and return to the fact that the ocean was beautiful that night. The lights on the shore lit up up the breezy waves, and the train roosts were silent in their motions. For a few seconds, I stood still and absorbed my life, and all I could do was laugh; and then smile at what I have to give thanks for. Friends, an amazing woman I call Mom, a future in satori, and the makings of something I have never experienced coming around the corner. It is so big that it cannot be contained in my hopes and dreams; it is that big. It may even be years away for all I know, and for all I know that is okay for this man. This man they call Todd, that is. Carpe diem my friends...carpe diem.

"How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a dreary world." - William Shakespeare